i give up

i just want to rant something. rant about my incompetency to blend in to society. i put a blame on my feelings on one of my classmates today. but really,upon closer inspection its me. in my whole life, i have always tried to blend in. try to flow with society. but i am always the odd piece to the puzzle.never cool enough to fit in. always the nerdy kid with huge bags in secondary school. moving on to poly, i thought i could fit in. for a short 2 years i felt i did. but now i just realised, i didnt move far. with the fake laughter and smile everyday,its not that hard to get deluded. borrowing a line from eminem "i just hide behind the tears of a clown". but in actual fact i am still the same lifeless bugger who lack social life so badly that gaming became my frend. its so bad that wen i want to go out for a movie, i struggle to find frends to go out with.

everyday, i wish i could be one of those guys who have big circle of frends. should i get badly injured or dead *touchwood* i will be just another unknown person passing on. i will probs wont be remembered by many. guess its time i accept the fact that i am wat those people describe me as...a lifeless poor looking kid who will be a footnote in history. o wait..i am soon no longer a kid..a lifeless adult.

thank you for listening to my rant...to whoever if any who reads this blog..soon this blog will torn down..for now this is the outlet of expression for me........